Image credit: Dreamstime
Introduction
We’ve all heard the phrase that opposites attract. It makes for great chemistry, but it doesn’t always make for an enjoyable couples massage.
Couples massage is ultra popular. The ads show dewy-eyed people in love in a candlelit space, maybe even holding hands on tables that have little space between them. The ads are pure fantasy. Even though they’re not realistic, lots of people enjoy side-by-side massage. And then there are people who don’t.
I’ll give you an insider’s view of what I’ve seen and heard that melted my heart, as well as the dumb sh*t that made me involuntarily roll my eyes.
PROS:
- Many spas have dedicated couple’s suites chock full of private amenities like shower, jacuzzi, restroom, dimmable lighting, music selection, tasteful decor, and sumptuous linens.
TIP: It takes a lot of coordination to make a couple’s massage happen flawlessly. So definitely book at least a few days in advance, especially if your service includes a private soak. You have to trust me on this one.
- It is a romantic experience. Well, it is for people who don’t have a lot of medical conditions or stipulations. A consultation that drones on and on because one or both people have a litany of prescriptions, medical conditions, or instructions is a bit of a killjoy. (“I want lots of time on my neck, but I just came from the salon, so don’t get oil in my hair. I can’t lay face down and I don’t want the eye pillow because of my lashes. Don’t you have eucalyptus? Oh, and my right foot is ticklish and I want deep on my right hip, but don’t…”)
*sigh*
It’s also more romantic for couples who don’t have a partner that snores and always falls asleep during a massage. To be perfectly honest, I don’t care one way or the other if a client snores. I’m still going to do my job.
TIP: If both of you are healthy and don’t snore, a couple’s massage is beyond a wonderful experience. If one or both have a litany of medical conditions, the consultation can swallow up a lot of the treatment time, so book at least 75 minutes or your therapists will have no choice but to rush. Then it’s not romantic at all.
- It’s romantic if both parties in the couple actually know each other and want to undress in front of each other.
BEYOND EYE ROLL: Yes, I’ve done couple’s massages in hotel spas when one party had literally just met the other less than an hour prior. I have no idea how he talked her into getting a couple’s massage as a first date, but she was reluctant to be left alone with him to undress and get on the table.
Image credit: MB Consulting
She was clever, though. She said she’d left something important in her purse and went to the locker room. By time she returned, he was already on one table face down. She slipped discreetly under the linens on her table and took off her robe without him seeing a thing.
- If you’ve never had a massage, it can make it easier to relax if you get a couple’s massage with a close friend. They’re not just for intimate couples. Mother and daughter, two sisters, cousins, best friends.
TIP: If one partner is a chatterbox and you’re looking for quiet enjoyment, a couple’s massage may not be what you’re hoping for. The chatterbox will disrupt the peace for you (and probably for the massage therapists, as well).
No two therapists have the same personality or temperament. Some love to talk with clients to pass the time and drown out that sleepy music. Others are more silent treatment sorts.
I’ve had pleasant chatterboxes, as well as chronic complainers. I dealt with each one in different ways because my ultimate goal is giving a massage that knocks clients’ socks off.
But I digress.
THE COUPLE WHO MELTED MY HEART
I had a couple one day. The woman was booked with me, and the man said she really needed this massage because her best friend had recently died. During consultation, I assured her that any emotional response would be perfectly OK.
Halfway into the service, she was face up and I was working on the left side of her neck. Something about the way her neck was knotted up screamed to me, “Shock and rage!”
At first, I thought that was a little far-fetched, but her muscles kept telling me the same thing: shock and rage. I asked her if her friend’s death had happened suddenly and if she was angry at her friend for dying.
My client said her best friend had been murdered and she knew exactly who was responsible. He hadn’t been arrested yet.
Her words took my breath away. That was shocking and any surviving best friend would rightfully be raging. The fact remains that my license is what it is, and I felt its leash jerk me back by the collar. I’m not “that kind” of therapist. I could only offer words of solace and hope and no more.
THE REMINDER I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED
One Mother’s Day, I went to the lounge to greet my guest, a woman I’ll call “Michelle.” She was about 30 years old and when she realized she wasn’t getting a couple’s massage with her mother, Michelle nearly had a full on panic attack. Michelle’s mother insisted that she’d be fine getting a service in her own room.
I took up the mantle and also assured Michelle that she was perfectly safe in the spa. I took her by the hand and led her to my treatment room. She was trembling and her tears flowed. She apologized for separation anxiety. Her father had passed away on Father’s Day the year before and her mom had sacrificed so much to put her through college. Her fear was she’d unexpectedly lose her mom.
Every step, we took turns pointing out reasons why and how she’d be safe, her mother brought her here, they both deserved to take a load off, she’d choose to trust me, etc.
We took baby steps. At the end, Michelle began tearing up again. “Miss April, this is the most wonderful thing ever. I’m going to take better care of myself and I want to bring my mom back here again. Can I request you? I’m not coming back unless it’s with you.”
“Yes, of course. I’d be happy to see you again. When you call, you just ask for me as your service provider.”
After her treatment, I led her back to the lounge where her mom was waiting. Michelle went to the restroom and I headed over to her mother.
“Was she OK?” her mom asked.
I chuckled and nodded. “We got through it. When I was in massage therapy school, one of my goals was to help people with anxiety. I’m in a spa and sort of lost sight of that. So thank you. Michelle reminded me why I do what I do.”
Conclusion:
All in all, there are certainly wonderful reasons to get relaxed with someone special at the same time in the same place. There are still other things to consider like having similar goals and expectations for the service as your partner.
Have you ever had a couple’s massage? How did it go? Leave a comment below.
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